Friday, December 2, 2011

Helping out

Sigh. All these external problems are not what I need right now. Spending the last month trying to break this problem is draining the life out of me. So frustrated and angry, but nothing else I can do. I've covered everything I could, better to cut my losses and get back to myself. I need to be more careful with the people I'm dealing with.

I've been spending a little time helping my father out and learning something on the job. Just started a new project, and work has already started. I've already spent some time looking around. Most of the Indonesian sub contractors have become bumiputras. Apparently this is quite common, most of the Indonesian laborers who have been working in this country for a decade or so have become bumiputras. Really surprising, and very disturbing.

I'll start spending most of my time rotating between worksites for the next few months.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Dealing with a problem.

I've gone back and forth on this. I've tried talking with other parties, but there is so much confusion going on i's become impossible for me pass anything through, morever the situation is so complex. I've put out a long post to put some clarity to the whole murky story.

Sigh, this is just fucking nasty. Long winded and confusing, I can't even read it.

Basically, Dominic is a cheat. His got several people to support him. And I need to have a base for myself so I don't get alienated. He sounds convincing and I've had to deal with a lot of hostility because of his BS. I need more people to realize this so they won't get influenced by him.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Markets rebounded

I've pretty much recuperated what I lost in the August correction. Market sentiment is terrible, if Italy doesn't hit the rocks, it looks like it will go up next year. Most of the leading economic indicators in the US are still positive. Most likely flatline until next year before it continues upwards. Since I pick from the bottom up, market direction doesn't really make a difference. It's funny how the markets work. A lot of times bad news is ignored if the underlying economy is doing ok.

The jargon for it is called climbing the wall of worry.


If you think your smart, your probably not. Problem +1... and my plate is already full.

I ought to just ignore this. If it drives people away, I haven't lost anything worthwhile. Sigh, what bullshit. Need to get my focus back. All this little fuck ups are jarring my concentration.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Late at night

It's early morning, and I haven't been able to get any sleep. I'm lying down and I'm trying to organize my thoughts, listening to a podcast and the radio host mentioned that writing stuff down helps organize thoughts better. It used to help, but I haven't been putting my thoughts down recently. Most of my writings here are just small tags that I put down when I feel I have the time to write something. Usually when I'm feeling bored or angry.

I let a small problem grow into a big one. The problem now is that there are people around me who have been turned against me. I can't address any of the points directly because most of the people I know believe the little rat; beyond ignoring me or treating me like a stupid fool, there is really no way for me to attack the issue directly. A friend of mine told me to change a name, migrate overseas and start a new life. "There is no way to deal with jackshit like this", this advice is just funny... nothing else... I know this guy very well, and if people would just bring the issue to me directly I could work around it. Instead of having 5 different people ask me the same question. Or being treated like a fool for no good reason. The key problem is that it is very hard to keep my cool when I am being treated like a jackass.

The most distressing issue is the one I am having with one of my close friends. He has become this guy's biggest supporter, at the same time he is attacking me. The weasel is trying to lift him up to make use of him. The cherry on the cake in this whole issue is that he is angry because I am trying to tell him that he is being manipulated.

edit: Sigh, To eat an elephant I guess I need to start with small bites.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011


I am really under tremendous pressure... What I need to go through right now really drops the hammer on a lot of things. Not to put up with weasels early, otherwise I might find myself on the short end of the stick, as I am now. Not relying on anyone too much without having something to back myself up, because when it really comes to throw down and I find out that I made the wrong choice... I am going to have to struggle through things like this. Sigh, hopefully by the end of all of this I can repair my reputation. It's a really dark mark on an already difficult period.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Sigh, so many problems on my heels.

It's been a heck of a long run these last couple of months, I've been facing a lot of problems lately, from my personal life all the way to what I plan on doing in the future. I've taken a break from college for a semester to shift through my life and find out just where I am right now. It's been quite a rollercoaster and frankly speaking, it's really been an up and down cycle. I've had a fallout with Dominic, I used to be friends with this guy, but really a lot of things that should have alerted me to his behaviour a long time ago I did not bother to pursue, and right now it is really coming back to bite me in the ass.

He used to brag that he would be able to give people a difficult time if he didn't like them, among many other things, but I didn't really catch on until much later and I didn't tell anyone else about it, probably due to my misguided sense of loyalty. I guess I should have said something about it much earlier on. It always struck me funny how he would list out and overemphasize on all the things that were wrong with a good friend of mine while he spun a very flattering story about me, when at times I was doing worse. When I realized what was going on I backed the other friend all the way, but I didn't point out what Dominic was doing when I should have. The way things have turned out is almost comical if it wasn't so draining.

It's given me a whole new load of problems to deal with, but I guess the bright side is that I caught on to his behaviour, and I'll probably have to put myself out there before he can do more damage than his already done... as it is my relationship with several people have been damaged, if not outright ruined. This is a problem that I should have addressed early on, but with every other thing going wrong, I didn't pay attention to it when I should have tackled it on early. But life is like that, sometimes things go wrong. Fix it, damage control and move on.