Saturday, October 29, 2011

Late at night

It's early morning, and I haven't been able to get any sleep. I'm lying down and I'm trying to organize my thoughts, listening to a podcast and the radio host mentioned that writing stuff down helps organize thoughts better. It used to help, but I haven't been putting my thoughts down recently. Most of my writings here are just small tags that I put down when I feel I have the time to write something. Usually when I'm feeling bored or angry.

I let a small problem grow into a big one. The problem now is that there are people around me who have been turned against me. I can't address any of the points directly because most of the people I know believe the little rat; beyond ignoring me or treating me like a stupid fool, there is really no way for me to attack the issue directly. A friend of mine told me to change a name, migrate overseas and start a new life. "There is no way to deal with jackshit like this", this advice is just funny... nothing else... I know this guy very well, and if people would just bring the issue to me directly I could work around it. Instead of having 5 different people ask me the same question. Or being treated like a fool for no good reason. The key problem is that it is very hard to keep my cool when I am being treated like a jackass.

The most distressing issue is the one I am having with one of my close friends. He has become this guy's biggest supporter, at the same time he is attacking me. The weasel is trying to lift him up to make use of him. The cherry on the cake in this whole issue is that he is angry because I am trying to tell him that he is being manipulated.

edit: Sigh, To eat an elephant I guess I need to start with small bites.

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